always.

Friday, May 29, 2009

I'm Happily Satisfied. Rest are still unwritten.

Life...

What's my life all about? I've been infront of lime light since then, yet it start to change when I start my life in college. Where I end up loving my life as a simple living organism.

This past few years of my life, I admit, that I love dating boys... Lots of boys. "Collect and collect then select." A good motto for any girls who have lots of men waiting for their yes. ( Gees I started to sound such insane mammal here.) But honestly, I love dating guys. Lots of guys. Here's this, basketball player, which turns out the MVP of UAAP Jr. (Can you guess who's he?) There's this guy, Fil-Am-Chi-Spa (Filipino-American-Chinese-Spanish) whom I dated just 3 months time(such a loser!), a man whom can be unbearble ever who is sooooooo boastful of their wealth, and lately I discovered the dirty politics of his family (shh! Gees...) and latest ex whom I really called my first true love, the most amazing guy I've ever met. Yes indeed, until now.
But frankly speaking... most of my ex-boyfriends are let's say... NAGIGING Mr. Inrtams... (bakt ganun ano???)

Yet somethings changed, as I stepped my foot on the pace of college, my perceptions begun unwind its laces. I've been inlove with a guy whom I really know doesn't exist. But I was wrong. Not too soon, I've fallen to his venom of love. Punctured all over my heart, whom he and only he can cure. Soon, we've been hanging out... Time for something new, something new I wanted to last...

Let's listen to the tickling of the clock...
and see every drop of the ink of thy ballpen...
cause still the rest of ours... are still unwritten.

MOOD: in love.

xoxo,
blue.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Heart from a daughter.

HEART FROM A DAUGHTER

Two years ago, before we discovered that my father has a brain tumor, and it should be remove immediately. The operation was successful and again, back to normal life without any extra cash in our pockets. But atleast, from that experience we learned that our family was there to support us. Both from my father and mother's side.

Last year, before summer class would start, my father had a seizure due to stress from his work and I should have known that. I know all the story. DAMN! Why would they hire a "much more" programmer from Manila, if in the end the program will just a smash trash? I should have known. I want to insult them at that very moment. Haha. They insulted my father's intelligence, yet they come begging for my father's work... Are they pathetic? I should have known. I can motivate my father to take his pride. But he never did, because he believed that it is wrong. see? I can't believe that religious **** face institution would did that. DAMN! If they didn't insist for their program to be that fast, my father wouldn't have a seizure. ARE THEY PAYING FOR HOSPITAL BILLS? HELL NO!!! **** THEM!

And now, after the CT scan, my father was diagnosed again with another mass inside his brain. My father couldn't sleep at night because of the bills for his operation, and now, I must stopschooling because of that. Atleast I understand, I just pitied my mother who still standing tall for us. and as a the eldest and strong enough I must also do something. Sometimes, I hate that institution, I never wonder why some professors are walking away, it is because of their LOW RATES salaries, and not to mention their demands of these and thats. I must pretty admit, that some students there are just being boastful, and to take a glance of their grades... the highest would be 2, a shame for theirselves and for their family.

If I could boast a thing to the world, I would boast that my family has family member of literate and educated individuals. My dad is a topnatcher in MSU and all his life is a scholar with allowance; my mom is a top 10 student in any school she had attended, even in San Carlos, Cebu. My little brother who never studies his lessons but look he's on the star section and me, who is not quite that intelligent and a lax person, who passed nursing for almost 2 years. I know I can't boast enough in my side but to tell you frankly, I'm not that intelligent enough, but I have guts to pass my subjects.

I, Roxanne Cheyselle Blue Mendoza, SN, have a heart who cares for her parents so much, that I'm willing to take an armor and a sword to fight for any obstacles that will come in my way.
This emotional, silent girl is signing off. It's for you to hear me.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Pre-Braces Times.

My Pre-Braces Times.

I'm indeed a late bloomer. I haven't yet bloom since I was born onto this unknown thing called World. (haha. is this part of the blog?)

I have a imperfect teeth since my permanent teeth started to show off.. urrgghh... well atleast i ahve complete teeth. Lol. Well, this blog entry was just a sharing of my pre-braces times, which I can simply admit that it's so samok. Really.

It was my mom idea to give me a braces for my self-esteem thingy. LOL. Really. hehehe... So she told me if I am free I will go to the dentist and have a check up. Request and request.. X-ray and picture-picture. Weird... I have to smile and smile always. I also have to bite the white thingy, that for me, like cartilage of my ear. Shoot. Woah... I have to smile and show my imperfect teeth. And then process. After the process I need to pay 600 Philippine Peso Bill, for each picture-picture and x-ray. Ok? Really samok right? and also expensive...a suicidal part of my mom brown with black laces wallet. hehe.. But thanks to my mom. She really indeed try her best to make me a hmmm... presentable?

Next Step. Putting on the Braces. Ouch! "For my coming debut party. well, let's take it as a grand celebration. I think my whole family are preparing their speech already. Grudges!!! I think like my birthay party last year, my dad will once again, reant the whole resort in Gumasa. hmm... Suggestion.. I want Bohol. So that my godparent, Alvin Uy (Mayor of Tagbilaran, Bohol) can come. Toinks..So much for a wish.